She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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