so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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