if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just pee around me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
