Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
