I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We got so high we made milksteak
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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