dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
