Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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