last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
