I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Boobs speak an international language.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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