Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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