Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
