Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
