I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize