I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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