Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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