i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
