The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The beer is more important than you right now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
