Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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