Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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