The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
