I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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