she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
