I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I love you.
Bad choice
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
