oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
