in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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