In the future we'll all be gay
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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