What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
