I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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