my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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