that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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