Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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