so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
