Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
