wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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