I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
