so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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