I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
