Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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