there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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