There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
