I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize