I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
