I'm drive I can fine osifer
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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