Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
