Can i not drive my cunt home
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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