We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
