I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
