drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my being single is dangerous.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
