my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
