Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
