so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
