he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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