ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
