On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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