I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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