Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
