That's intense
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
