its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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