There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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