I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
