OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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