Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
