i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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