my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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