that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
