I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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