I cockslap morals
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
