Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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