She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
