Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
