Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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(214): View more from Texas

only if we run a train.

(1-214): View more from Texas

done.

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(850): View more from Florida

A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.

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(619): View more from California

I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

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(440): View more from Ohio

Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"

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(204): View more from Manitoba

That jawline could fucking have its way with me.

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(727): View more from Florida

The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.

(303): View more from Colorado

I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.

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