I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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