he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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