i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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