I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
