Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
