I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Terrible idea I love it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize