I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
