I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
