This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
