He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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