Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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