Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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